Get Over It

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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Thursday, December 6, 2001
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Getting over a traumatic event doesn't mean to forget it, or ignore it, or stuff it. It means to go through the process of release. Getting over it is like climbing a mountain. The most direct route around the mountain is to go over it. Going over it means to evaluate the situation, determine what you will need to do or change in order to make it over the mountain. In order to get over the unpleasant in our lives, we need to give ourselves time to assess the situation, determine what we will need to do to achieve the goal, and take one step at a time.

Getting over it doesn't mean we forget the experience. Getting over it simply means we go through the process of dealing with the situation to the point where it no longer creates a block or problem for us. If we don't go through the process of getting over, we will forever stand in front of the problem and be stopped by it. Until we face it and process it, we will never be able to get over it.

Getting over it also means to integrate the lessons that we learned from the situation and to find the positive in it. We can learn and grow from everything we have ever experienced if we are willing to face it and get over it. Getting over it is a process and it requires that we take the steps to integrate what we have learned. Getting over something usually doesn't happen overnight and can be somewhat complex. It requires a level of honesty with ourselves and about ourselves. Getting over it means we take a good look at what happened, how we can learn and grow from the experience, and then we release it.

Releasing can be the most difficult part of the process. Releasing requires that we forgive others and ourselves for what happened. Forgiveness doesn't mean the release of fault or agreement with; it simply means to let go of. Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It is about us. As long as we hang onto what has happened in the past, we cannot be fully present in the here and now. To be able to be fully alive today, we need to get over what has happened in the past, forgive and forget.

Getting over something is a process that can take a short time or a lifetime. It depends on the situation and how willing we are to let go. And the challenge is that most of us don't have just one mountain in our lives to get over, we have several. At one time in my life, I had a whole mountain range to get over. It simply takes the courage to face whatever the situation is, assess what we need to do, and then just take one step at a time. As we begin to take the steps to get over our personal mountain, we will begin to pick up momentum. As the momentum builds, it will carry us through the process.

Coaching

Getting over it doesn't mean we ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist. It means we face whatever the situation is and we take the steps necessary to address it.

Not all mountains are the size of Mt. Everest. Some can be very small. And of course we can make mountains out of molehills. It can sometimes be the molehills that are the hardest to get over. What we need to realize is that the only way that we can move forward in our lives and not have the molehills or the mountains stop us is to deal with them. Pretending that they don't exist or trying to plow through them or even go around them isn't going to support us in learning the lessons that these experiences provide. We may think we have gotten away with something when we take a detour around the mountain. Unfortunately the only thing that is going to happen is we will run into the same situation again. Each time we encounter the issue, or mountain, it will be larger. The only way to prevent the mountain from growing is to face it and get over it.

Are you ready to get over the mountains in your life?

Daily Success Formula

Challenges + Courage + Taking the steps = Getting over it

Quotes

"Life is a lively process of becoming." Douglas MacArthur

"Don't duck the most difficult problems. That just insures that the hardest part will be left when you're most tired. Get the big one done - it's downhill from then on." Norman Vincent Peale